No Place Like Home

Looking for a place to stay. It is late evening, getting dark. A house, a hotel, anything would do.
I see a group of buildings in the distance. A warm, fuzzy group of lights.
I approach the place eagerly.
The buildings and lights remain fuzzy. Even walking closer makes no difference.
I am right up at the buildings and still the outlines are all blurred.
Is it my eyesight? Probably not as other things are in focus.
Entering a building seems impossible. The doors and walls are all a hazy blur, can't distinguish the difference.
I feel shut out. No safe place. Only the night.
Do me good to rough it.

The Bicycle Race

I was about to set off on a bicycle race to Land's End. From where I'm not sure, presumably John O' Groats.
My chain had come off and I got my hands covered in oil trying to put it back.
Only a few minutes to go, then we are off.
I wonder about what will happen at the end of the day. Where will I sleep? What will I eat? What about a change of underwear?
I realise more preparation would not have gone amiss.
Have I got time to pack a rucksack with a few things?
The others all seem unconcerned, dressed in sleek lycra or something.
Bang! We are off!
Too late to do anything.
I pedal away and hope for the best.

Pedestrian Crossing

Odd little dream. It was at the pedestrian crossing at the West end of Princess Street, Edinburgh.
Pedestrians who were intent on crossing the road were given a yellow reflecting jacket by a policeman. They were then directed across the road to be met by another policeman at the far side, who relieved them of the jacket.
The process continued with the next pedestrian etc.
Did fluorescent jackets actually fluoresce, or merely reflect?

Men From Mars

I was wading through an ocean of clear liquid. More dense than water and around 2 feet deep.
The liquid went over the top of the wellies I was wearing.
I thought I was on Mars but there was no red sky.
I reached down into the water and picked up a small elongated bent stone. It looked black but it had clear ends and was totally translucent crystal throughout its length.
Other crystals littered the sea bed.
I saw three people sitting on a tiny island. They were not quite human.
I handed the crystal to one of them, who examined it with interest and passed it to the others.
Somehow it was what they were waiting for.
I moved on towards a group of other people, also in the liquid, then woke up.

Face the Clock

Last night I saw a series of images in which I was in different places in a huge room. Each place corresponded to the position of the hours on a clock.

When in a certain position I would do what I normally did at that time.

As time moved on to the 4pm position, I would move to the 4pm place in the room and so on.

I remember being reluctant to move from the morning to the afternoon and from afternoon to the evening. Never got as far as evening to night. . .

Perhaps about the march of time through life to death at midnight?

No Escape

Woody the cockatiel had escaped out of the back door. I ran out after him to find my back garden was no more. In its place was a narrow peninsula leading out into a swamp. I saw Woody flying out over a stretch of steaming water. He was being pursued by wooden birds of terrifying, but colourful, appearance.

I called for Woody. He was having second thoughts about his new freedom. He swung round and headed towards me. He landed on my arm. The wooden birds screeched angrily around my head.

I ran towards my back door. It was gone. In its place was a round hole in some weird vegetation.

I turned towards the new developments all around me.

Obviously they had to be faced.

The Meaning of Life

I was in an outdoor class. I argued over the use of a certain four letter word. I said I would check it in a dictionary. The nearest dictionary was on a shelf attached near the top of a stone pole which itself was on the top of a small rocky hill.
I climbed up the hill and came to a narrow ravine running horizontally across my path. The summit and pole were not far away but the place was incredibly exposed and scary.
I thought about jumping the ravine but couldn't bring myself to attempt the leap. A railway seemed to rumble along far away at the bottom, below a thin glass roof.
I looked at the stone pole and noted that a rusty vertical ladder was attached to its side and led to the shelf.
A risky jump, a scramble up some loose rock, a steep pull up the ladder and a final long reach was all that lay between me and finding meaning.
Some risks have, perhaps, to be taken.

Religion, Women and Football.

Last night I was sitting in the congregation of a large church.
Not a usual occurence.
Just before the sermon all the men got up and walked out. Excellent I thought, leave me with all the women.
But, I was noticed, and some of the men 'ushered' me out as well.
Apparently we were all going to watch a football match on a large screen.
Not liking football I sat at the very back where I couldn't see the screen.
I spoke to a large, fit looking guy next to me and said that we were all right here, right at the very back, out of sight and sound of the screen.
He glared at me and said that he was the projectionist and also starred in the film.
Football and Religion, if its not one or both, its the other, that's leaving out the women altogether.

The Summit

Climbing a hill in the mist. A huge, rocky and steep hill, perhaps more of a mountain. Nearing the summit. I am aware that someone is climbing up the same hill from the other side.
The mist is more than just a cloud of water droplets, it is an actual barrier that needs to be fought through. Tangible.
Trepidation mounts as the summit approaches.
What will we say to each other?
Whatever. It will be an important meeting.

Crashing Coincidence.

Another from the archives. It was a vivid dream about being the pilot of an aeroplane that was about to crash. I had just taken off and all was ok until the plane banked and nosed down towards the ground. Scary.

By coincidence, later that day a small aeroplane crashed at Glasgow airport just after take off.

The Leather Hill and the UFO

I stood on top of a black leather hill. It was very tempting to slide down its 50 degree slope. At the foot of the slope was a 2 foot high grey fur border. A soft landing. But at the other side of the fur was a 40 foot vertical drop onto a railway line where a diesel locomotive was chuntering away. A hard landing. So, I decided to walk through my old housing estate. I had with me two men. We passed each other an ornately patterned club. Handy for walking about the estate. I looked into the sky where several aeroplane contrails were visible. One was wagging about in a very unnatural manner. Above the trails, unnaturally, was a dark cloud. In the cloud was a giant UFO or steel bird, the size of Dundee or thereabouts. It was black with folded wings. Clouds kept drifting below it. It was very scary looking and seemed to be waiting . . Then a small aircraft flew by with a faltering engine. It flew upside down and crashed behind some houses. White lights shot up into the sky from the crash site. Something was beginning to happen . . . Finally!

Extreme Resolution.

This was an image from a recurring dream in which I let my young son walk across a piece of rotting sackcloth which covered a large hole in the floorboards. Below the hole was a big drop into the basement and deeper. Skeletons from the past were all buried down there.

I always intended to have the hole fixed but never got round to the job. Familiar or what?

Anyway last night's dream featured such a house along with a small cottage and a semi detached villa on a hillside. I was in a shed below the houses when a friend in a small jet, armed with a napalm gun, fired a burst into the air as a demonstration and then roared off over the horizon. The burning napalm fell onto the houses setting them alight.

I stood in the shed holding onto a water tap whilst others fixed a hosepipe onto the tap and extinguished the fires.

I did my bit by turning the tap on but it felt very little compared to the others, some of whom rescued people from the buildings.

More familiar feelings, but at least the hole in my floor job had at last been resolved.

Brain Box

I found a steel box on top of a hill. It was around 3 feet high and divided vertically into two compartments.
I wondered at the time if this was my brain.
There was certainly enough empty space in it.
Also room to keep two parts of my life firmly apart.
It's all fitting together . .

The Crossroads

"Hi George," I shouted across the square. The George in question was a scientist I knew who retired around 40 years ago. He didn't look a day older, always was a young looking guy. His retiral 'do' marked the occasion when he would wear a woman's red dress.
I asked him across to the house where I was staying. The house was a crooked, ancient stone affair.
The place? Well, it was at a crossroads. The roads were narrow and rough. No traffic was ever visible on the road but things and people passed by continuously.
It was the busiest junction in the Universe, right at the very centre, but few ever found it and virtually no one ever stopped. There was around 3 houses and a sort of post office/general store.
I had just been in the shop, which was closing at 6pm. I had been looking for a wooden puppet for my granddaughter. One of the women assistants had taken me into the basement which was an Aladdin's Cave of unusual toys and almost everything else. I said I would come back in the morning, which evinced great surprise as very few people stayed at the crossroads overnight.
Anyway, back to George. I was about to take him into the house when I realised that the woman and daughter inside dated from over 30 years ago. I wished I could introduce him to someone more contemporary. My daughter at least he would like to meet.
But, at that moment I was whisked off along one of the roads, to arrive back in an 8am sunny morning in 2007.

Time Line

Flying along a thin line, red coloured, on the ground.
Faster and faster, past my birth, Primary School, High School, working as a telephone engineer, weather man, faster and faster, loads of little land marks, goals achieved or not achieved . .
On and on . .
Too fast, try and retrace . .
Only works One Way?
Oh no!
The final lesson?

Crystal Life?

I was given a £350 present.
It was a slightly elongated hemispere with a flat glass base. It was 'wearing' a green coat. It had two long flexible arms. I discovered that these were variable focus fibre optics. Each one had a different F number. It seemed to point at things it (or I) might find interesting.
When the arm was pointed at the ground, a hugely magnified picture of the ground would appear on the flat glass (or crystal) base. It looked like the hemisphere was made of solid glass or crystal, with an ability to magnify.
I pointed the arm at a guy called Zak, who was around half a mile distant and doing cartwheels. After a fuzzy few seconds he appeared on the base as if he was about 3 feet away.
Another guy (JF) looked at the hemisphere and said that it appeared alive and 'felt' sentient. I agreed.
But, just because we couldn't decide how it might possibly work was no reason to confer 'life' onto it.
We waited for it to walk off in the huff.

Catching a Bus

I boarded a bus in West Yorkshire. A red double decker armed with two sharp battering rams extending 10 feet out the front.
The driver was furious, he had been 'cut up' by the bus ahead and it was his duty to right the wrong by destroying the hapless bus, driver and passengers.
I held on for dear life as the bus thundered round blind bends, missing oncoming traffic by inches.
I was amazed at the driver's skill.
But, the pursued bus must have been aware of its potential fate and kept just ahead.
Needless to say, everyone missed their stop.
I probably did as well, had I been able to remember where I was going.

Fifty Long Hot Summers

I bought a new Mini (old type) and was driving along a winding coast road with 2 passengers. I picked up 2 more and continued up a steep hill. The car started to stall. I stuck a foot out of the door and assisted the car upwards. Success, summit achieved, just.
I then parked and walked down a narrow track to the sea.
A group of old houses stood on the shore. Also an ancient, wooden, Cadbury Chocolate factory. All peeling paint and rotting wood. People were living inside, like relics from the fifties. Nothing had changed except all were older and more decrepit.
Another dream of me, I know. .

Parrots and Raspberries

In a pet shop and saw a huge, light blue parrot. The man let it out and it landed on my wrist. It started to speak to me like a person would, but instead of listening to the message it was keen to deliver, I dashed off and heard it say "Goodbye," in a pained voice.
I cycled off but walked when I came to a steep hill. Alongside the road were raspberry bushes with raspberries the size of pineapples. They looked and tasted gorgeous.
I photographed one with my mobile and another cyclist up ahead urged me to hurry. Why? I wondered as I was not holding him up. Why did he not taste the raspberries as well?
Then he told me he had a BBQ to organise.
I sort of understood.

Prison Break

I was a prison warder and it was time to go home, it had been a long day. However, I may have been a prisoner and it was the end of my sentence. Whatever, it was time to leave.
As I was about to go out of the door the lights went out. A power failure.
All the cell doors sprung open and prisoners were everywhere.
One big guy, held a knife to my throat and said he was going to kill me.
He lunged at me, folded the knife up and then handed it over.
"No hard feelings?" he said, shaking me by the hand.
I was amazed at the turn around.
Then I looked over my shoulder and saw two guards with chrome plated rifles aiming at my new found friend.
Aah well, that's the way the world works I suppose.

Disturbance in the Night

Was awakened at 3am by the sound of someone on my roof. I looked out to investigate and discovered a building firm starting to insulate my roof and ceilings. There was also a blizzard.
They were stapling padded tinfoil to the underside of the ceilings and further securing it using mock Tudor beams.
I spoke to one of the workmen and he said the Firm never slept. They worked 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, all year round. They took it in turn to doze in one of the vans. Thus they kept ahead of the Competition.
I told the rest of my household that there was nothing to worry about, except the fact that it was snowing in August.

Ascending to the Light

Driving up to a lighthouse for a look around in my new red convertible.

We were met on the approach road by the Keeper who told us to park at the bottom of the hill and make our way up through a dark tunnel which eventually led to the Light.

Whilst taken with the metaphor (even in the dream) I felt lazy and argued over Rights of Passage etc.

My colleagues then convinced me of the Error of my Ways and such like.

I then reversed back down and began the long Ascent.

Out for a Drive

I was driving along a dusty road in Iraq when I had a rear wheel puncture. I was on some sort of Sunday afternoon drive. Luckily I was passing a garage who fitted a new tyre at a reasonable cost. I drove further into the desert and was following a heavy truck when I had another puncture. I pulled over onto the rubbly verge and jacked the rear end up again. I went for my spare but it was all shredded.
A group of tribesman approached from over the sand.
Three armed children walked past, but they were not really children but sort of South Park caricatures.
It was all a bit scary.
Did the AA operate in Iraq? Probably not.
Why was I there in the first place?

The Motorcycle Ride

Sitting around a round table with my 16yr old son and a large group of Hells Angels type motorcyclists. They were instructing him in the lore of their lifestyle and he was mesmerised. Outside was a huge group of Harley-Davidsons glistening in the sun.
I went outside leaving them to chat.
A German friend was waiting for me outside with his Harley-Davidson, driven by his 6 month old son and he was riding pillion. A large horizontal frame type sidecar at right angles to the machine was for me to lie on.
The total width of the combination was thus around 10 feet.
I lay down and we set off, feeling perhaps a trifle anxious.
But I soon fell asleep as we rolled along the sunny, dusty road. Bliss.

Running for No Reason

The train stopped in an open area of country. Border police boarded and started to make their way through the train. I jumped out and made a run for it. Others, presumably with different guilt problems, legged it as well.
I ran along a track and hid under an overhang of turf. I had heard a searching helicopter. I peeked out and saw a long thin pencil like machine, without rotors, hovering overhead. Black helmeted personnel sat in open chairs on either side, peering down.
I ran off again, imagining thermal imaging. I ran into a wooded country estate, past a pipe smoking colonel and his tartan trouser suited daughter. They were both startled and she ran after me. I can easily outrun her I thought. But no, a minute later she was loping alongside, asking me why I was running.
I stopped and said that I had no idea.
"Work on it," she said.

Beaten by German Fork Hunters

Last night I was walking along a country lane with some of my new Ikea cutlery.
The track was muddy and up ahead I saw around 1000 stationary Germans in orderly lines. Perhaps military, I'm not sure. I threaded through them and got ahead of the group.
But to my dismay I found I had lost some of my new forks.
I retraced my steps to search for them.
But, the Germans had been mobilised by their commander and ordered to search the lane for, naturally, old cutlery.
The commander had already found several old forks and spoons.
I ran through the group and an amazing amount of cutlery had been found.
Having no German to explain about my lost Ikea stuff, I had little chance of finding them myself.
Despair.
What a load of tosh.

The Tunnel

Walking through a tunnel under my nearby City. I was with an off duty policewoman. We met a well known businessman, who was present on my first rock climb, Crowberry Ridge on Buchaille Etive Mhor. We chatted and moved on towards the tunnel exit, outside the Clydesdale Bank.
No traffic, no people, just silence.
"Must be a Public Holiday," was the marginally reasonable explanation.
Then I saw two world maps on the diagonally opposite street corner.
A ghostly figure was colouring them in, although the marks were appearing in advance of his brushstrokes. We watched in fascination.
One was a weather map, obvious enough, wind directions predominant.
The other had numerous red blotches surrounded by black fuzzy expanding circles. Some were on the UK.
Then we realised what was going on.
Nuclear War, Armageddon probably.
Back to the Tunnel?

Exploding Cupboards and a Magical Tablecloth.

Two dreams last night.

The first was knowing that something was amiss in the rest of the house. I got up and wandered through from the bedroom and found that all my kitchen units and cupboards had exploded from the inside. Needless to say the place was a mess, stuff everywhere, nothing intact. Real enough perhaps.

Then, an AA patrolman gave me a present of a tablecloth he had picked up abroad. It had clear helium balloons fixed with string every square foot or so. If you peered into each balloon a 3D scene became visible which was of a real place far away. The middle balloon which was the largest was capable of lifting a person up into the air. He demonstrated this by thrusting his arms up into the balloon neck and up he went, tablecloth and all, for a few yards then slowly descending.

I tried it, but too close to overhead power lines, wimped out and woke up, alas, without the tablecloth.

The Baby

I was asleep in a dormitory which appeared to be in the upstairs bedroom of the old council house that I lived in. I was in a chair at the foot of a bed containing my sleeping daughter, who was around one third of her present age. Needless to say I was clutching a baby who belonged to neither of us, but was, luckily, sound asleep.
Then some yob came in and woke up another of his type on the other side of the room. They started to speak and laugh loudly. A muffled "Shhh" came from some other bed. No difference, the noise continued and got louder.
I lost it. I stood up and roared,
" If you c**** don't shut up, I will f****** kill both of you."
Stunned silence, but followed by another faint, "Shhh."
However the baby woke up.
I asked my daughter, who was also now awake, and a bit scared (probably of me), what she fed it on.
She replied, "Corn Flakes."
Having forgotten to bring any, I tried feeding it a tomato I found on a nearby shelf.
We all tried to settle down again, but the sleeping spell in the room had been somewhat broken.
That's why I was awake at 5am.

Everest

A dream about heading towards Everest for a winter ascent. It was a beautiful day and the mountain looked fantastic.

I was wearing a stout pair of shoes and my best anorak. I carried some Kendal Mint Cake and a Scottish flag for the summit.

Training had included walking up my driveway each day to see if the postman was on its way, so the attempt was not undertaken lightly.

After all, how hard could it be?