Hailstorm Cafe

Went to a cafe for a meal with another man. I was jealous that he had a new spoon and mine was an old spoon that had probably been used by thousands of other diners. We went outside to sit, him up a hill under a tall tree and me a few hundred yards away under another tall tree. A hailstorm then broke out. Isolated from each other we consumed our meals, me with an old spoon and him with a new spoon.
So, this is what it's like to eat out with another man?
Don't think I am homophobic, but, I mean . .