Trees

Walking along a straight, seemingly endless road. I note how slowly trees on the horizon approach. Or is it me slowly approaching the trees?
I stand still and the trees still approach but much, much slower.
All comes to him who waits.
Not true of course.

The House Next Door.

I went into a birthday party for a one year old new child I seemed to have. The party was in a hotel that we were staying at, and the mother and other children all had pixelated faces. Just as well.
A large group arrives including son C and his friend L. They were fresh from a long walk to see an extinct volcano. I was a bit jealous of their expedition.
It all makes me want to get some fresh air, so I wander outside and walk up a narrow lane past some houses. Out of the first house comes a man just beaming over with excitement. I watch as he enters the neighbours house with the exclamation that he is entering the best house in the world. I am intrigued and watch as several other men enter the same house with the same sentiments.
What is in that house? A brothel, a men's group, another universe, their childhood or whatever men really want?

Iced Memories.

Out for another cycle run. This time I was showing a few friends the attractions of my local housing scheme.
I led the field towards the estate, we could see it glowing white in the distance, like a distant jewel.
The team were suitably impressed as we approached. Gleaming white houses and streets. Everything pristine and new, sparkling. Elegant and smartly dressed people walked purposefully about, teeth gleaming.
I cycled towards the pièce de résistance, the white heart of the scheme.
A brilliantly white council house made of icing sugar, mmm, mouth watering . .
We all stared at the unattainable.
But then I suppose these schemes were the great white hope of the 1950's, and that's what they were like then, (in my memory anyway).

Grand Day Out

I spotted an army tank on a hillside. Climbing up towards it I was headed off by two soldiers carrying machine guns.
As it was a fine day, I thought I would climb the hill anyway. The exercise and the fresh air would be good for me. The soldiers followed and at one point opened up with their weapons, soil and heather erupting all around me. I objected to their behaviour and they explained they were just aerating the dry ground.
Not really believing them I continued my climb, keeping an eye on these cowboys.
I came across a deep gully which promised a quick if exciting and steep way down.
I scrambled down but was dismayed to see that the soldiers were also descending with disconcerting expertise.
They were not happy until I reached the bottom and they wandered off towards their beloved tank. Also I had some exercise and fresh air
Job done.

Elderond

Last night's dream felt really weird. I went along to a 5 a side football match at the local community centre, with my son C.

In the middle of the pitch was a large cage containing a parrot. It was free to a good home. Several people had tried to keep it but without success.

I spoke to the officials who, slightly reluctantly, agreed to give us the parrot.

We went over to the cage and found that the parrot was huge, around 6' tall.

It was dressed in a smart green coat with trousers, scarf, the lot. He introduced himself to us as Elderond. He seemed capable of easily biting us in half.

Elderond seemed more in command of the English language than either of us and questioned us as to our circumstances etc.

We asked if he was willing to walk along to our house and he agreed. His cage would follow on by lorry.

He chatted endlessly as we walked on various subjects, some questions he asked I was at a loss to answer.

His cage had appeared at our old council house and he entered it elegantly. I promised to visit him later.

However I forgot to visit him until much later and took him a piece of cheese. Elderond was visibly upset and wondered why I had not visited. This was not going to work he explained unless I kept my word and that he was treated with more respect.

I agreed that I would in future.

I wondered with a bit of trepidation if he was toilet trained . .

Digging deep

I started to dig in my garden, almost at random. I unearthed a small red weight, like those used on old fashioned balance scales.
Then another and after a bit, one more, each deeper than the previous.
I kept on digging, getting excited by now and gradually unearthing a complete set, together with a red metal box to keep them all safe.
A memory returns of losing them when I was a boy.
Balance is restored.

All at Sea

I was at a Perthshire cottage for an annual visit with my mens group. I looked out of the window and expected to see the usual magnificent view. Instead was leagues of water.
The alpha male of the group, wondered what my problem was with the water. I answered that it was not what I expected. A wooded glen turned into an ocean.
I opened the front door which led out onto a deck and saw that the cottage was in fact a paddle steamer.
I looked down into the clear water and saw that it was really deep with a particular deep bit just under the paddles of the cottage/steamship. The temptation was to dive in for a swim but the deep, menacing part under the paddles was really scary.
I called off my submersion plan and returned back into the cottage.
Defeat.
What was that all about I wonder?

Pub Talk

I went into a pub with an old friend Ian M. The landlord could not believe his eyes when he saw Ian but was incredibly pleased to see him. Probably because Ian had died some years previously.
Anyway drinks were ordered and what's more, were on the house.
I ordered a coke as I was driving.
Stunned silence.
On an occasion such as this! Outrageous.
I was made to order a proper drink to celebrate a Return From The Other Side.

Diving Down to Town

I went diving with son C and two others including Drew our old instructor. I was given the job of Safety Officer, which involved writing stuff onto a pad with an indelible pencil. Big responsibility.
We dived down about 30 metres to a submerged town. Crystal clear water and the town just like it had been when it had been submerged.
I noted things like air pressures and times onto my pad. Probably should have remained on the surface like a proper Safety Officer.
I turned to look around at the town and then back to my fellow divers. They had all disappeared somewhere.
Then, walking along the street, came a man with a small girl. Seemed spooky as they were without diving gear. Like drowned people walking.
I tried to speak to them but they passed me by.
I was getting worried about C and the others. Air would be running out.
Then another small girl appeared wearing a blue dress and stopped to speak.
I asked her if she knew where the divers were and she replied that they were in trouble and would show me where.
I followed her to a nearby Spar shop and saw them inside. They had swum through a lobster pot type of entrance and could not get out. They were clutching bottles of beer and whisky.
I kicked the front door down allowing them to escape.
Drew asked me to note down all what had happened. Good practice he said.
I turned to thank the little girl but she was gone.

Fright Club

I parked my Volvo on a piece of waste ground in a dodgy neighbourhood. I noticed someone had already tried to force open a door. I tried to kick the metal back into shape. As I did so a group of thugs approached brandishing weapons. Scary.
Too many I thought, but I would go down fighting.
I prepared to swing a tyre lever that had luckily just appeared in my hand.
But, I wondered, maybe they are vigilantes protecting the area against apparent car vandals.
No matter, the fight was on and I was knocked into wakefullness.
Phew.

My New Scooter

I had a little scooter, 50cc engine and light enough to be carried in one hand.
I was heading towards Perth to do some shopping. The day was fine and it felt great to be scooting along the open road, no helmet, just sun and wind. Tescos here I come.
Deciding to go the harbour route, I did a right turn, although a turning lorry nearly knocked me from my machine.
A number of lorries and cars overtook me, my speed being pretty insignificant.
The road began to narrow and sweep round to the left. There were no turnoffs.
The road narrowed further, enough to be alarming. I slowed, and the road ended in a set of stone steps.
Where had the other traffic gone? Up the steps? Things were not right.
I picked up the scooter and climbed the stairs. A lengthy flight.
At the top was the harbour and a row of old cottages. Several steam puffers were tied up at the quay.
The people stared at my scooter, a chromium anachronism.
Out of time and place again.

That Half Mark.

I had been given loads of closely typed sheets of paper. They were the questions and answers for an upcoming exam.
I could not be bothered to read through them all, despite the fact that doing so would greatly increase my chances of passing. I remember this sort of thing at school, just not making the effort. Taking my chances as it were.
This sort of thing resulted me in failing my 11+ exam by half a mark. Thus I was channelled into the realms of manual labour or, at a push, blue collar work.
Another half a mark and I would have been ushered into the fabulous world of the white collar lads. Or so I imagined.
Life is full of these nodes.

The Unusual Job

Son C. and I were walking through the streets of a wet, deserted city. We came across a man called Bill. I knew him to be a real outdoor sort, tweeds, fit and usually carrying some sort of weapon.
Bill asked us to follow him, which we did, gradually leaving the wet streets behind.
He took us up onto a hill, which grew gradually steeper.
Near the summit was a grassy hollow, at the bottom of which lay the decomposing body of a middle aged man. Looked like a lost hillwalker. Bill's job, he told us, was to keep tabs on all the undiscovered dead bodies in Scotland. I struggled a bit with the logic of his statement, but that was soon put out of my head when he chopped off the foot of the corpse, using a large axe. Out of the body streamed columns of maggots. This was to show C. the reality of the situation. Even Bill looked a bit pale, never mind C. and myself. It all seemed a bit much.

A new torch and a shave.

I wanted a new torch. So I climbed to the top of a 100' tall tower by a steep iron staircase. At the top was a huge room where a retirement party was in full swing. I asked the retiring guy if he had a torch. He gave me his old one which was a fantastic affair, which seemed would light up the universe.
I thanked him and climbed back down by a vertical pole, scary. At the bottom I found I had to reverse the entire process to open the door to get out.
Exhausted I left clutching my new source of illumination.

Next I went into a chemist for a shave. I opened a trap door in the middle of the floor to access a tap. A black underground river surged around 60' below. I filled a plastic tub with water and managed to clutch Max as he slid towards the opening. The chemist told me to empty used shaving water on the chemist shop roof where it would run down the drainage pipes onto the ground and so into the underground river.
His place, his rules, I suppose.

Ballet Chips

I went into a shopping mall, where I intended to visit a betting shop. I knew how to place a bet and how to win. (Not actually true.)
On arriving at the place where the betting shop should have been I discovered it was now a fish and chip shop. Serving was my friend S. She in fact only served herself fish and chips then came out from behind the counter to speak to me.
We sat outside on a bench. I offered to massage S's feet and noted she was wearing silver ballet shoes.
These shoes had so many laces and straps that we decided it wasn't worth the effort. S then handed me a chip.
Result.

Isolation

Last night I felt that I was totally alone. My choice. But then I realised that I wasn't anywhere remotely familiar. Another planet in a way. I also knew that I had no money. My bank accounts no longer existed.

However I found some chocolate buttons on the floor and quickly scooped them up. Security!I suppose the point is that I have never really been on my own, certainly not for any length of time.

When I awoke there was actually some chocolate buttons on the floor, alas they belonged to the dog.

The painting is one I did earlier, for much the same sort of dream, although that time I was on an alien planet for sure. No chocolate for light years.